Back To School

It seemed like I blinked and summer was over and it was time to send the kids back to school. The first day of school is usually filled with feelings of excitement and nervousness as the kids pick out their first day of school outfits, pack their school bags, see old friends, make new friends, and meet their new teachers. It is a time for change and new routines.

For our family the first day of school has another twist, a sad one. It was 1 year ago, on the first day of school that Steve passed away. Today isn't the exact day, but the tragedy that accompanied the first day of school is felt. My heart aches for my children. What a difficult day this will be.

We have talked about this day in advance. I told the kids that whatever they wanted to do was fine with me. This morning I woke up very early anticipating the day. I tried to make it the same as any other first day of school, but you could feel the sadness. We had our BIG breakfast, scriptures, prayer, and I helped the kids get ready for school. Ben was the only one with reservations about school. It might just be nerves for advancing to first grade. Which that alone brings on another set of emotions for me. Whatever the case, everyone went to school. They are all so brave.

I think the weather best describes my feelings today. Dark clouds, dreary, cool, intermittent rain showers, occasional peeks of sunshine, chance for severe thunder storms and showers in the evening hours. I am grieving today.