Expressions of Love

Tonight at my grieving class we talked about the differences of a sudden death verses a more expected death. We discussed our feelings of not being able to have closure and say good bye with a sudden death. I am quite surprised about my feelings. They are quite different then what I thought I might feel. I thought I would have unsettled feelings, and feel as if Steve will never know how I felt about him.

Steve's passing was the greatest tradegy I have ever experienced and probably ever will experience in my lifetime. I can't describe the shock, the saddness, and the grief I felt and am still feeling. His passing was so sudden, so unexpected. There was no time to say good-bye, I love you, and to express my deep feelings for him. I remember when he passed and we were asked to say good-bye. I really was at a loss for words. Not because there was nothing to say, but because once your spirit leaves your body, the person has truly moved on to another sphere. You can feel it. You know it in your heart.

I knew that Steve knew how much I loved him and that he loved me. I also knew that we had shared an amazing life together. We had experienced true joy in life together, and in raising our six children. If there were ever hurt feelings or things we regreted, that they were forgiven.

I feel that Steve is near us. He knows of our sorrow and grief. I know he wishes he could comfort us and take away our pain. He knows how much we adore him and want to honor him and the legacy he left. Although I wasn't able to express to Steve my true feelings moments before he passed on, I know he knows them, and I am happy we had a wonderful life together.