Three years ago today I lost my best friend, and my confidant. I found this quote about best friends that describes our relationship:”Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you’re sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, coz it would be too painful to watch you get hurt.”
I love and miss you Steve Brown! This is a lonely road to travel. Not because I have nothing to do, or no one to do it with, I have that; I am just missing my favorite person to share the journey with. Among other things, I miss “pillow talk”. You know, talking before you go to sleep about the funny things the kids did that day, what plans we have for the future, or just simply how the day went.
I remember 3 years ago in July when Steve and I were having dinner with some friends. The topic of conversation was centered on the passing of a spouse. Each person took their turn, imagining what they would do if that tragedy happened to them. That is all except me. I told the group that I knew that Heavenly Father doesn’t give you trials that you cannot bear, and therefore, that would never happen to me.
Those words felt safe to me. I felt as if that could not happen to me, if I believed I couldn’t bear that burden. I have since learned that we don’t get to choose our trials and tribulations. When these trials come our way we find strength, or are given strength, that we never thought we had.
I am grateful to have a strong religious belief that if we endure to the end, and endure it well, that we will be together again. That makes me happy, it gives me hope.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Three Years Ago.....
Posted by browniemom at 7:58 PM
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4 comments:
((((((Cindy))))))) my virtual hug to you. Last month Ben was so sick. I contemplated what would happen if he were to die (only a 1% of patients with rheumatic fever so I shouldn't have worried) or get so bad that he could never practice medicine. I wondered how I was going to feed my family and go on in life without him. I learned what a strength he is to me. I really felt I did most everything on my own with him working 80 plus hours a week, but learned that wasn't the case. I felt such pain thinking about what I was going to do and I thought of you. You are so strong. You are awesome. You are doing such a great job. I am so sad for you. I only know I can imagine a fraction of your pain, but know that I think of you often and hope you are doing well. Hope you made it through the day the best you could.
Beautifully written! My heart hurts for you! I love you so much! Know that I am thinking and praying for you this week!
Hello Friend,
Yesterday was surely a bitter day for us. I have cried buckets this month, and the intensity only picked up with each week as we got closer to the 25th. We shared many tears of grief together yesterday with this temporary loss of our loved ones. My heart aches for you, seeing I do not know what it is like to loose my best friend, but I do of a beloved child. Either way the path is hard, the pain runs deep, but our love for our Savior is made more perfect.
I too had a similar experience, after watching the movie 'benjamin button' with my husband we talked about how terrible it would be to loose one of our children, and we both agreed that we could never handle that. We jokingly mentioned that we would end up in a divorce because my husband would heal faster than me and I would get mad, so we wouldn't be able to be around each other.
And yet here we are in the very trial that we did not want, nor think we could ever handle. I am sure you can agree with me of all the humbling that the Lord has taught us from these trials of growth; he truly has much faith in us. Thankfully our Father in Heaven knows what my family needs and what your family needs. You and your family continue to be in my thoughts. May you too feel the strength from prayers.
Much Love to you and your family during this time.
=)Tanya
I love reading your blog. This post was really heartfelt and I agree with perspective and thoughts.
Dave is serving in the young mens (again). He talks about Steve all the time. To the boys, and to me. He has always said that Steve was his idol, and the person he looked up to the most other than his own father.....
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