It has been 3 weeks now since the death of my husband. Someone said, Time heals all wounds. I'm not sure I agree. Time may soften wounds, but I don't know that a wound this deep will ever heal. It has been said that tears are the price we pay for the love we enjoy in this life. I guess when we love someone a lot, we hurt a lot when they are gone.
Our family has had many ups and downs during these several weeks. Probably more downs than ups, but I guess that is to be expected. My heart breaks for my children. Little Ben was talking to someone and said, "You know I don't have a Dad." Today Ben said that we have a new "D" word and it isn't "damn", it is Dad. He said it makes him sad to talk about his dad so we should call it the "D" word. Little Lizzy touches her fingers to my mouth when I try to talk about her Dad, because it hurts her to talk about him. I feel the pain of all my children and wish that I could fix this for them. That's what their Dad used to do. Every time I had a problem, or not even a problem, I just wanted to "vent" to him, he would have my problem figured out and fixed.
We miss him so much!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Posted by Brownie Mom at 1:10 AM
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5 comments:
I can't decide if these weeks have gone fast or slow. It is still too unbelievable to me that Steve is gone. So I'll tell you what is believeable to me. First that you are an awesome mom and that your kids are great. I believe that you will all make it through this awful time, that your kids will be able to remember the great things about their dad and it won't be a "d"word. We keep praying for you and the kids many times every day.
Cindy: My heart aches for you and I wish that I could take all the pain away -- and "fix it." But I can't. Although, I know that you can make it through the pain and find joy once again. You are a wonderful mother and your children are precious and strong -- that is where you will find your joy and peace. Our family prays for your daily. I will love you forever, Heidi
I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose a husband/dad, that would the most difficult thing. You are so strong! We think of you a lot and we are praying for you daily. I love what you said about Steve on your blog. He was an extraordinary man, and you have built an extraordinary family together. :) You are an amazing mom and are raising great kids. Thanks for your example! We send all our love!
Cindy: I sure miss you and the kids. Ben is so refreshingly candid. I'm sure you see Steve in each of your kids each day. I hurt to see you hurt, and wish there was some way to relieve this burden from you. I have seen your strength and your inspiration. I have seen how you truly listen to your children. I have also seen the courage and individual strengths of each of your children. I'm sure Steve is proud. You are an amazing person and have a wonderful family - forever. I love you!
Cindy: Had so much fun tonight laughing with you. Hang in there. I'd still rather be with you on your emotional roller coaster than with anyone else. Thanks for inspiring me.
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